Oh, so you’ve met Frank then!?!

This is what happens when you get prepped for surgery.

They wake you up at 04:30 in the morning for reasons I am still unsure of. At around 06:00 they wheel you down to meet the “Prep Tech”. My Prep Tech was named Frank and was running late and was very concerned about this. So concerned that he failed to read my chart to see that they were harvesting my Radial Artery from my left arm rather than the artery they typically take from the groin. This means that he spent the next 30 minutes paying extra close attention to how cleanly shaven my nether regions were. At one point, this very large man had my right foot in the air and pressed against his face with a very intent look on his face as he made what felt like the 17th pass across my continuously shrinking man parts in front of what felt like a live studio audience. He literally shaved me from my neck to my toes and all parts between (some parts WAY more than others) while not shaving either of my arms (like the arm the artery was coming from). Needless to say, I have no shame any longer and feel for women who have given birth. There really is no dignity left after that much of you is put on display for that many to see.


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